Daydreams into Nightmares, Hope into Despair
by Junpaku Karasu
Summary: AU fic of the Trunks story where the androids are Vampires and Trunks seems to have lost all Hope. R for violence and language and thoughts of suicide. Please rr!
1. Ch1

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
Author's note: I would like to thank 'Syns of the Goth' and anyone else in that chatroom that tried to help me with the title of this fic. I would also like to thank Sakura Briefs. And my grandparents because I wrote this first chapter at their house.  
Warning: This fic is not for the faint hearted, I sometimes start to describe stuff you do not want to hear in detail. Just thought I'd warn ya.  
  
  
  
_Kaasan tells me that soon after I was born, the androids came. Dark creatures of the night brought into the day by modern technology. Daydreams turned into nightmares. Hope turned into despair. Kaasan calls me 'hope' but I feel I've already gone down the same path as the rest. I have no hope left in me, only despair. I guess my nickname actually means that as long as I'm alive, I'm a source of hope. Well that's going to be short-lived. 'Cause I'm gonna die soon. Then I'll be a source of despair. Yep, I'm definitely gonna die soon. Hell, I don't think I'll last a minute more..._  
  
I yell in surprise as a ki blast nearly fries me. _Oh, shit! That was close! I am such a fuckin' idiot, thinking I could fight one of them. I can't even go super saiya-jin. Like that would help. They got otousan anyway._  
  
"Why don't you run home to your mommy, little boy?" the android says with the bloody smile of a demoness.   
  
_Little boy?? I'll show you little boy, bitch._ I charge at her with an outraged yell, silenced by a knee in the gut. _Maybe that wasn't such a good i-_ She kicks me and I fly parallel to the ground. The sound of breaking glass, twisting metal, and finally a thud followed by the cracking of bones resounds through my ears as I come to a halt. _Good thing this wall was here to break my fall..._ I smile wryly. Then I cough up some of the blood making its way up my windpipe. The metallic taste fills my mouth. I can feel the life slowly slipping out of me... 


	2. Ch2

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. If I did, this would be a movie, not a fic.  
Acknowledgements: Thanks for reviewing Veresti and Shayne!!  
  
  
  
After lying here for what feels like hours but is probably closer to minutes. I hear the footfalls of someone coming towards me. I slowly open my eyes, expecting to see the android coming with my death. Instead I see a tall man with short black hair.  
"Are you alright?" he asks. _I'm great. I'm just sitting here with my life bleeding out of me with a few broken bones and some pierced lungs. Nothing to really put me in too much pain._ I want to say, but I cough up some more blood instead. My eyes start to close again. They feel so heavy... The man's footfalls thunder in my head and I hear him speak again. His voice seems so far away this time, even though I can feel him trying to lift my head up. But that seem so far away too. Like a dream. I can barely make out his words.  
"Here, swallow this." He places something in my mouth. _What the hell is this?_ I swallow it. A few seconds afterwards, I sit up in surprise. All my injuries are gone.  
"What the hell was that you gave me? And who the hell are you?"  
"My name's Gohan."  
"Son Gohan?"  
"Yep. And you must be Trunks Briefs."  
"How the hell did you know?"  
"Your Capsule Corp. insignia, your high ki level, the fact that you look like your father, and your mother told me that you would probably be here."  
"Please don't tell kaasan that I almost got killed. She'll never let me out of the house again." He smiles.  
"I won't."  
"Arigatou, Gohan-san."  
"You're welcome. Come on, lets get out of here." We walk out of the ruined arcade and fly out of the remains of a carnival. _Ironic. People came to this carnival to try and forget about the androids and here they became perfect targets for one of them._  
  
  
  
I'm going to stop here because I still have to figure out what I want to do next. Please review!  



	3. Ch3

Disc: I do not own DBZ. If I did, Gohan would not be the comic relief in the Buu Saga(and that's putting it nicely.) Why couldn't they have kept him as cool as he was in the Cell Saga??

            Gohan and I fly over the dark landscape of decaying ruins that were once a city. Grey clouds billow in the sky with lightning flashing within. I finally decide to ask him a question that I have been thinking since we took off. "Gohan-san, will you train me?" He pauses.

            "I don't know... I'll have to ask your mother."

            "She'll say no."

            "Then I guess I won't be able to train you. I can't say I blame her. The androids are a lot stronger than you."

            "I don't care. I'll still fight them whether you train me or not and no matter how strong I am." I watch the buildings pass below me. Then, one particular building catches my eye. I remember that building. I stop as the memories come forth of that day...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

(Trunks is about chibi Trunks' age in the flashback)

            I touch down in front of the ruins of a skyscraper, carrying a large bag at my side. "Supplies!" I enter.

            "Konnichiwa, Trunks. It's always a pleasure to see you."

            "Konnichiwa, Mr. Nomimizu." I bow in respect at the white-haired man hobbling on his cane. "How are you today?"

            "As well as an old man can be in days like these. Take advantage of your youth while you still can. You won't be young forever. Remember that."

            "I will, sir."

            "Konnichiwa, Trunks." A tall, blonde woman about my kaasan's age walks up. "Ah, supplies. Tell your mother of our gratitude."

            "I will Miss Izumi."

            "How about you help me hand them out?"

            "Yes'm" I walk around helping her hand out the supplies.

            "God bless you my son," says a English priest as I hand him some bandages. He has several gashes that I heard he received while helping people out of a church while the androids were attacking. _Not all heroes have special powers like the Z-senshi did._

"You're welcome, Father Cummings." I turn around and look at the rest of the refugees. Some children are playing tag, a group of adults are sitting around a fire, drinking coffee and telling jokes, a group of teens about my age are playing football (A/N: Soccer. I think the Japanese call it the same thing as the Brits.) _There's such a feeling here. It almost makes you forget about what's going on outside._ Father Cummings follows my gaze.

            "It's a feeling of hope. The feeling that someday everything will be better. The Lord will provide. Evil never lasts forever. Good will always prevail."

            "Someday..." I gaze at the scene a while longer, letting the feeling fill me. Suddenly, the building is filled with silence. Two shadows are in the entrance I came through not too long ago. Slowly, it dawns on me what they are. "It's the androids." My voice is barely above a whisper.

            "Well, well, well. What have we found, brother?"

            "I don't know, but it seems to resemble a nest of rats."

            "Let's exterminate them then." With a sudden blast of energy, a little girl is disintegrated into a spray of blood. With that, the silence is suddenly broken by screams of terror. People rush about in a panic.

            "Oh, good. Moving targets." More people fall to ki blasts from the androids bringing a stench of burnt flesh.

            "They really resemble a swarm of scurrying rats now." The demoness smiles as she materializes behind another screaming victim and snaps their neck, the sound echoing through the structure and through my ears, louder than the screams of terror they replaced. I gag at the sound and at the sight of their loosely hanging neck at an impossible angle.

            'It's a nightmare, it can't be real... Any second I'll wake up, kaasan shaking me, telling me I'm having a nightmare... Wake me up kaasan... Please wake me up...'

            "Trunks! Abuna!" I am suddenly pushed aside as a blast of fiery light comes blazing towards me in an inferno of death and destruction, breaking me out of my reverie. A splatter of crimson blood sprays me in its gory warmth. At that moment, the reality of it hits me.

            "It's real." I whisper. I stare down at Father Cummings' mangled remains, the flesh still smoking from that killing blast. I begin to whimper. _No, I don't want it to be real. I want to wake up. Please let me wake up, please... _A part of me suddenly seems to speak to me from a deep, dark part of my soul. _But you can't wake up from it. You cannot awaken from a nightmare that's reality._ I curl into a ball in a corner and try to block out the screams echoing around me...

After what seems like eons later, I hear the sound of the androids' voices besides me. "Look sister, just one left."

            "A boy."

            "Trembling like a leaf, pitiful human."

            "Probably scarred for life."

            "Should I put him out of his misery?"

            "No, let him suffer." I hear her kneel besides me, the broken concrete crunching softly. She whispers softly into my ear as I squeeze myself tighter, "Hello, little boy. My name is Joan, and my brother's is Jon. Remember our names, we will be the ones haunting your nightmares for the rest of your life."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

            "Trunks? Are you okay, Trunks?" I don't answer him. Instead I take off towards home at top speed. "Hey! Trunks! Matte!"

             As soon as I reach home, I rush upstairs to my room, ignoring kaasan's queries, shutting and locking the door. Trying to shut it all out. _I felt so helpless that day… It was the first time I ever saw them. Before they had seemed so unreal… I knew they were real, but… _I squeeze myself tight, trying to stop the shaking_. A child's __naïvetè__, crushed. I was so naïve... After that day I began to train, I finally realized the danger, what was happening to everyone. I wanted to stop it. So no more children would scream at night, from nightmares that weren't really nightmares, but memories floating back to the surface of their consciousness, which makes it all the more horrible... I was still naïve, though. How could I have thought that I would've been able to beat her? How could I... _Suddenly it hits me, what I was thinking as I flew out to face her. _I didn't care... I didn't care if I died... I... I wanted to die... No! I shouldn't think that!  I'll beat them someday if... If Gohan-san trains me... But he won't unless kaasan gives her consent, and she'll never do that... So it's all hopeless... _I descend into dark despair... As if in a trance, I walk over to my desk and open the drawer. Inside lies a small knife. I got it because the handle is formed in the shape of a Chinese dragon. I pick it up and sit down, balancing it in my hands, turning it over and over, entranced by it sharpness, its deadly beauty. _This is my means of escape from this reality. This is how I will wake up from this nightmare... _I press the blade against my wrist, above the veins beneath. _I'm going to see you now, otousan... _I slide the knife over my skin, so my veins will be cut and my life-force spill out of me. But they aren't cut, my life-force isn't spilled. I yell angrily and throw the knife, embedding it into the wall. I begin throwing punches at the air, still yelling in anger. Suddenly the door bursts open, torn off its hinges. Gohan takes one glance at the knife and rushes over and restrains me, pinning my arms behind my back. I struggle against him. "I just want to die!!" I close my eyes as the memories rush through my head, maddening me with the feelings of grief and lost hope. I thrash against Gohan's constrainment, my screams growing louder.

            I finally stop, exhausted. I reopen my eyes, gasping for breath. As I stare at the knife embedded in the wall, it finally hits me, what I almost did. "Oh, shit..." Gohan releases me and I sink to my knees. "Shit..." Kaasan runs over and embraces me, crying, but I just stare at the knife in the wall, repeating the same word over and over. "Shit..."


	4. Ch4

Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure my name isn't Akira Toriyama, therefore I don't own DBZ.

A/N: Sorry It's been so long since updating this fic. For some strange reason I stopped writing this in the middle of an important sentence, so when I came back to it I couldn't remember where the heck I was going with it. So I think I wound up kinda starting over a little bit. And then getting writers block for a while... But then last night I came up with something that solves this thing that's been really bugging me, so it's all good. Longer chapter too. Enjoy.

* * *

It's been a year since that day I tried to end my existence with the cold blade of a knife. Since then me and Gohan have been training tirelessly together in hope that we might someday defeat the monsters that plague our world, freeing us from this nightmare. That's the dream we fight for, pushing ourselves to the limit of our abilities. Gohan never lets me push myself as hard as I want to, though. _I would push myself to the edge of death for the strength to destroy the androids if he didn't make me hold back. But he promised Kaasan... And Gohan never breaks his promises..._

Kaasan's been fighting the androids in her own way. She's recently started building the time machine, she's been working on the blueprints and equations for as long as I can remember. I think it's all a waste of time now. With Gohan and me training together, it's only a matter of time before we send those bakemono where they belong. Especially since I can turn Super Saiya-jin now. I've been able to for quite a while...

In the first few weeks of training with Gohan I could never quite reach the Super Saiya-jin state. It was always right beyond my grasp. But Gohan was confident I could reach it. Because he knew I had reached it before... Gohan and Kaasan both knew... In the chaos of that moment when I attempted suicide, I overlooked something. Something I didn't remember until long afterwards...

-------------------------------------

I pound a fist into the earth in frustration.

"Damn it! I'll never become a Super Saiya-jin!" Gohan grins at me.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. You nearly had it!"

"Nearly." I reply bitterly. "I'm just not strong enough!" I slam my other fist into the ground.

"Yes you are. You just need to try harder, that's all."

"Yeah right! How do you know?"

"I just do..." He replies softly. I look up at him. He has a look on his face like he knows something but doesn't want to tell me. That's when it clicks into place. I can't believe I missed it before.

"Gohan..." I say slowly "You turned Super Saiya-jin... that day... to restrain me, didn't you?"

"Hai"

"Why?..." I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Because you did..."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Because you don't want to become a Super Saiya-jin that way. It tears you up inside every time you become one. Until it nearly drives you mad. Believe me, I know. Thinking about everybody's deaths. How I couldn't save them..." Gohan trails off. There is a long silence. Then I speak up.

"I have to, though... I have to become a Super Saiya-jin no matter the cost..." (1)

------------------------------------

I squeeze my hands into tight fists as the wave of despair washes over me. I reach the Super Saiya-jin state easily, but then I feel ideas seep into my head, seeming as if they were from another person.

_ You're worthless. You'll never become strong enough to defeat the androids. You're just a stupid little weakling. You're better off dead. Just stop this pitiful existence of yours. End it now._

I collapse to my knees, my head clutched in my hands, trying to stop the flow of thoughts. But I can't.

_ You're a burden on everyone. End your life so _

I feel myself slowly giving in to their demands.

_ they can go on with their own._

_ You're holding them back..._

"Yameru, Trunks! Snap out of it!"

I feel the explosion of a ki blast near my head, and fall into unconsciousness...

------------------------------------

I awake to the smell of burnt flesh and a bitter taste in my mouth, mixed with a metallic one. I open my eyes and then sit up quickly as I notice Gohan lying unconscious next to me. It then becomes clear where the smell came from. I notice a piece of cloth sticking out of Gohan's remaining hand. It's then I realize that the bitter taste in my mouth is from...

"A senzu bean..."

I tear the senzu bag out of his hand open it, desperately searching for another senzu bean. I can't find any. I vainly turn the bag inside out, refusing to believe it. Still finding none, the truth becomes undeniable.

"The last one... He gave me the last one..."

------------------------------------

Kaasan's face turns pale as I come through the front door of our home, carrying Gohan on my back.

"Trunks... You're covered in blood..."

"It's not mine..." I reply quietly. She covers her mouth, stifling a gasp as she suddenly notices the state Gohan is in.

"What... What happened to him?" she looks at me imploringly. I avert my eyes and walk past her towards the medical bay. I hear her footsteps slowly following. As I set Gohan down in the cot, Kaasan asks again.

"Trunks... What happened to Gohan?" I pause a moment before finally replying.

"I... I don't know..." I lie. She remains silent after that, quietly bandaging Gohan's wounds as I stand by the window quietly gazing into the darkness. She knows I'm lying, even if she can't guess the whole truth. Kaasan's a very intelligent person. And so am I.

"Trunks-chan..." Kaasan says softly. "Are you hurt, Trunks-chan?"

"Iie"

"Are you sure?" I pause a moment before replying.

"Gohan... gave me the last one... The last senzu bean..." I shift my gaze to her reflection in the glass. Her expression is unreadable. It's a while before she speaks.

"I see... You should still get some rest, Trunks."

"I'm fine."

"Trunks... It's not your fault." I don't know what my expression was when I turned around to look at her. All I know is that it was all she needed. She turned around and left me alone in the room. Alone with Gohan's unconscious form and the darkness.

* * *

(1)Here's something I wrote about the super saiya-jin transformation relating to this fic a while back: 

"I've decided that you turn into a super saiya-jin not by anger, but by an emotion you don't want to feel. I can do this because I'm the author and I can do whatever I want and you can't stop me. XP It kinda fits too. Goku doesn't like to be angry. Vegeta, well he realised he was failing, he doesn't like failure. And Gohan blamed himself for getting everyone killed because he was a coward and too weak in the Cell Saga. (okay, I had it better when I first thought of this idea which is when I should have written this all down... Nyaa... ; (And just ignore the movies 'cause they don't count.)"

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Uwaaahhh! I just came up with this! Before I had Gohan keeping his arm, but it never seemed quite right. I got the 'last senzu' part in too! Two birds with one stone! Originally I had the first time Trunks meets Gohan (at least the first time Trunks-kun remembers) as when Gohan gives Trunks the last senzu, but that didn't have as much impact, did it? Yaay! I'm so happy! Though I really shouldn't be, poor Trunks-kun is even more messed up than before.

Trunks: "Yeah, thanks to all you crazy bi-"

--gets hit with a giant paper fan--

Trunks: Oro...

Anyways... Those of you who aren't as smart as Trunks and are wondering what in the name of Cerberus' left head happened to Gohan... Trunks was about to shoot himself in the head with a ki blast because of the 'voices' and Gohan pushed it away with his hand and got half his arm blown up. Trunks still got hurt though from what was left of the energy, so Gohan gave him the senzu. And Trunks doesn't really know what happened, but like he said himself, he's smart enough to fit the pieces together.

So Trunks is a smart and crazy, angsty bishounen!

He would still be that way without my 'additions' too, no way would he have gone through the androids reign of terror unscathed in the show. Toriyama-sensei's a really naïve guy.

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Well, the next chapter will hopefully be put up soon, it's been written for a long time. I think it was the first part I wrote actually... That's me, writing the middle before the beginning...Ja ne.  



End file.
